How does one get over the bitterness and learn to trust again following a relationship break-up?

Posted on August 28th, 2008 by admin in Relationship Break Up

Coming out of my divorce, I have found that I still reserve a lot of bitterness against my soon to be ex-wife. I literally hate everything she stands for. However, I want to get over the bitterness and not let it poison a future relationship. I want to learn to trust again, to love without suspicion.

Thats very hard to do my friend! I am a soldier in Iraq for the second time and when I was here the first time in 2003, my now exwife left me and took EVREYTHING I owned to include my 3 kids. I havnt seen or heard from them since. I was heartbroken and she took my right to be a father away from me. I still hurt to this day and I am still learning to move on. I recently got married again and am now again in Iraq as I told you, so I am living proof that I can do it so can you! Good luck and I hope I was of some help to you! Just dont give up and take one day at a time. Feel free to email me for some things that helped me if you choose!

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8 Comments

8 Responses to “How does one get over the bitterness and learn to trust again following a relationship break-up?”

  1. nickipettis Says:
    August 19th, 2007 at 1:31 am

    it takes a while. maybe years.
    you can speed that up by working with a good therapist.
    References :

  2. phjun8383 Says:
    August 19th, 2007 at 1:32 am

    Why? What did she do?
    References :

  3. chubby_1002 Says:
    August 19th, 2007 at 1:35 am

    Be honest with yourself and feel the hurt……find out if your mad at her or the break-up…..take time to get to know the single you and move on………..slowly
    References :

  4. Lotus Phoenix Says:
    August 19th, 2007 at 1:37 am

    learn from your experience. take an honest look at yourself in the relationship. Did you put up with things instead of speaking up. Did you ignore signs that were there before the marriage. Did you hang on in blind faith?

    I learned from my divorce how to let go of a relationship before it goes to far. I knew years before we got married that he wasn't for me but I kept hoping it would all change because I "loved" him and was also afraid to leave.

    And don't think everyone is out to get you. Most people aren't master decievers, we just allow it because we are too afraid to accept the truth.
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  5. vanessaforme11 Says:
    August 19th, 2007 at 1:38 am

    Thats very hard to do my friend! I am a soldier in Iraq for the second time and when I was here the first time in 2003, my now exwife left me and took EVREYTHING I owned to include my 3 kids. I havnt seen or heard from them since. I was heartbroken and she took my right to be a father away from me. I still hurt to this day and I am still learning to move on. I recently got married again and am now again in Iraq as I told you, so I am living proof that I can do it so can you! Good luck and I hope I was of some help to you! Just dont give up and take one day at a time. Feel free to email me for some things that helped me if you choose!
    References :

  6. javisjshelmar Says:
    August 19th, 2007 at 1:40 am

    Your anger will reveal itself to be not just her. You will in time find an awful lot about yourself you hate or did and will come through that stage relatively soon.

    In time you will find that it doesent matter how naive or deceptive or stupid or clumsy or damned you where or even what happened to you because of someone else… there is a choice that either your right and everyone else is wrong or we are each equally prone to mistakes and no matter our ability to decieve or be truthful the reasons for each cannot be predicted or depended on.

    Meaning basically.. Not everyone is out to get you and not all wemon are the same I feel sorry for emotionally infantile people who have to see the world that way in order to feel better.

    Be suspicious that you do not know what love is. and be suspicious you may make the same mistakes. and I do not mean where you place your trust. Its in how.

    Become more aware of things and people and moreso of yourself.. take this time to learn about yourself and you may find that you can love again.
    References :

  7. joan_of_freakin_arc Says:
    August 19th, 2007 at 1:47 am

    bad happens to all of us, but we can't let situations get us down, or define how we will respond to things in our future. just make better decisions the next time trust is the key to having a good relationship with someone. resolution of this will require time , whenever someone we love leaves us and hurts us we seem to question the next relationship, and wonder when its going to happen to us again. just choose more wisely nest time, guard your heart, get to know that person before u commit. u don't hate her u hate what she did to u, but the fault is within her, not u. self worth doesn't come from others, but from god.
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  8. willovemynurse4ever Says:
    August 19th, 2007 at 2:12 am

    I think you just need to make a solid choice to just do it. Set up some rules for yourself, as far as not letting yourself begin thinking of past issues. I am going thru the same right now, but more so my hubby, well now x. says he want to forgive me for all the horrible stuff I did. Basically, I am bipolar, just figured it out…was put on meds that made me worse, and over a year later since starting the divorce, which he didn't want…feel as if I just woke up fully to realize what has happened. I hurt the person I love the most, I want and need him back as m hubby, we have two kids together, and I am getting better, but alot has to do with my triggers of stress, and just having his love and acceptance, and forgiveness. I know it is so hard for him, but he says he loves me and wants to try. He also has made a few beautiful young nurse friends and talks to them regularly, so it is hard for me knowing I, or the illness created this situation and now I have to win him back. Forgiveness is up to each person and what they can truelly let go of, do you love yourself and her enough to give a second chance at love and trust? There are no guarentees in life, but if you both want to try, then it is no worse of a risk to try with someone you already know and care for, instead of a stranger or someone you have known two years as opposed to 12 years in my case. Either way you could get hurt again, but being suspicious is no way to live. I try to read the bible and follow those teachings more now than ever. No true beginning can start when you are focused on the past negative. I say do your best and see if she is faithful, if you dont try you may always wonder and torment yourself. Prayers do wonders if you have faith. Thanks for the question, it has helped me grow already good luck and remember, in life try to let go of the bad and only hang onto the good. We all make mistakes it is the knowing that others or at least someone believes in us that brings out the good and leaves the old and the bad behind forever.
    References :
    Trust and forgiveness

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